I Surrender

FreeExpression

And so it was
My trust not easily won
I came to trust
A few online
Only to be betrayed
by cloaks in the dark
Stabbing me
Deceiving me
Mocking me
Bleeding me
For my life
For my ink
I laid down my pen
I turned the other cheek
Only to be painted
as something other than myself
Tried by false tongues

Telling me I was not Christian

Burning words
Within circles
My accusers put up an eminence front
To protect their throne
They gathered forces
Whispering in ears
Building a fortress
They won trust
Only to abuse it
To use it
Trapping soldiers
into dungeons of war
Each word I wrote twisted
They tatooed me scarlet
Blasting me in the furnace of social media
Shadowing most of my poems with their own
Posting veiled attacks
I learned to watch my back
And though I am human
I do not envy others
nor am I jealous
I believe in and admire reward
My only competition is Self
I feel compassion for walls
And all the subjects within
And the reasons the walls were built

I only wish I could break the walls
Because everyone should be given their space
To walk together in this human race

And if love and creative writing are my crime
I will do time

Today I surrender

So please crucify me for the walls I climb

Bring an end to this war

Two and one half years is far too long

I can no longer fight

We all are light
We are not broken angels
We are childen of God’s creation
We wrestle spirit and flesh
To resist temptation

My spirit forever
will rise above the din
Hell cannot be made herein
You can’t possibly cause anymore pain
Because my pain is not my own anymore
And I feel sad for whatever kingdom you serve
Because I cannot imagine anyone with knowledge and compassion could approve of your tactics

(c) s l jennings

 I write this poem as a one-time release knowing I am not perfect, but also knowing I never deserved to be treated so poorly.  I feel guilty writing this because there are real problems in the world; beyond social media behaviors.  I try to walk a spiritual path.   My father taught me to speak for what is just and that includes speaking for myself. I cannot be silent in the face of such treatment.  I no longer share many writings online because of this continual situation, but I still have a right to share poetry online.  Please end all the abuse now.  I will no longer be a victim.  No more spreading lies about me.  And for those who believe the lies ~ did you ever stop to ask me or even have a direct conversation with me?  No more mocking my poetry.  No more calling me “chubby” and sending morality meme’s to me each time you believe a poem crosses a line.  No more posting sickening videos because you all think it’s funny and all the other posts.  I am a rationale person, but I have had enough.  I have never experienced such insane cruelty in my life.  You all should be ashamed of yourselves.  After all this time, this needs to end.  There are no victors.  Only costs.   I need to be peaceful for myself, my children and those whom I serve in the world & above.  You need peace for yourselves.  Forgive me.  Ignore me.  Block my writings.  I forgive you all and go forward now with a free life and pen.

This is the first time in my life I have been ruffled in this way.  I do not care what 7.4 other billion people think because I am confident & I know who I am deep inside.

Peace starts with each individual.  I still believe in joy.  I still believe in Love.  I refuse to believe in man-made divisions. Our time and energy is better spent in service to a world in dire need of acts rooted in Love & compassion.

Advertisements

About spiritedpoet

No online identity can truly define me. I am a kamakaze pilot of life. I have a navigation panel with controls, but I understand I cannot control external elements. I believe I am spirited with God (Love) to guide my life. I am human in my strength and my frailty. I somehow safely navigate my children through life's trial and errors. I proudly wear each stripe on my Mom's uniform; though, I still love the silky feel of soft négligée against my skin. I am human after all. Welcome to my Spirited Poet blog. Welcome to me.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to I Surrender

  1. Sumyanna says:

    Oh dear! I had not heard any of this. I have not known anything about you but goodness. I care not what others say. Do share. Ignore the hate. Your beautiful voice deserves to be heard. For those who speak dishonestly of you, may they learn silence. Hugs my dear friend. I stand with you.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s